What are you afraid of?

David McMahon at: http://david-mcmahon.blogspot.com/, posed the question, "What are you most afraid of?"



Being a strong willed and independent Wyoming woman, my initial response was, nothing absolutely nothing! But, then I started thinking about the question and what "fear" really means to me and I found that I do have an underlying fear.



I have had plenty of sadness and pain in my life in the last few years but through it all I do not remember the emotion of fear. Even at the time of the car accident, when we were t-boned by a cattle truck, I did not feel fear. I can remember feeling very sad at the deaths of my husband and mother recently but not fearful. I have become frightened when lightning struck too close or when another driver almost runs into me and I have become frightened when my children were sick or hurt but it was always temporary. I am not even afraid of death...

What frightens me is failure and rejection. I fear that I am not a good enough person, a good enough mother, a good enough employee and by failing, I will be rejected. I have spent my entire life trying to fit into the "normal" category because as a child, my father constantly told me that I was stupid and retarded. I just wanted to be "normal" not those labels so I have worked very hard just to fit in; I want to belong and be accepted.

So now you know what frightens me and makes me retreat into my shell like a turtle sometimes.
Yes, this makes me "normal".

Have a great day, everyone!
Jo