Celebration of Life

Moving beyond my pain and celebrating life.

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Poverty or Prosperity?



I only eat beans once or twice a year. It's not that I hate them so much as they are a bad memory connector for me. They remind me of the time in my life when beans were all I could afford and I have eaten a life's worth of beans!

In rethinking my connection to beans, I have come to think of them as my "freedom food." It was a turkey roaster full of beans that made me make a choice. Let me explain:

My children were young and we were living in Texas with my second husband who was an abuser. He controlled all of the money, bought the groceries and decided what we ate. We were not poor but he controlled everything my children and I did.

One New Year's Day he made the big turkey roaster full of beans; gallons and gallons of beans. They tasted pretty good the first day and maybe the second day but by the third day, the kids and I were sick of beans. Like I said, he bought all of the groceries and by the end of the first week, I depleted the soup and other staples in the cupboards by trying to disguise the beans with other things. At the end of the second week, we were down to our last gallon of beans but while there was still beans to eat he would not buy groceries. Of course he ate before he came home from work. Then one night he brought home a huge T-bone steak and large baked potato and salad and sat there and ate it in front of us while we choked down our beans. I remember asking him for a bite and he yelled at me to eat my beans; of course I complied but something inside of me changed. When he left the next morning, I flushed the rest of the beans; that was a bold move considering I was going to have to accept his wrath later.

It wasn't long after that, I started planning my escape from him. It took me seven months to finally get up the courage to leave him. So you see, the beans were a turning point in my life where I finally made a healthy choice for myself and my children.

This New Year's Day, I am making a pot of beans and ham and taking them to share and leave the leftovers. A once a year celebration meal is good!

I know many love beans and there are many variations and varieties to choose from. Some people traditionally cook beans for New Year's to welcome prosperity into their new year.
What is your tradition for New Year's?

11 Comments:

  • At December 30, 2008 at 10:01 AM , Blogger Jeni said...

    You know, after your ordeal with the beans, I can understand your desire to shun them. However, I'm thinking too that maybe once a year, on New Year's, to have a good meal of beans, fixed in YOUR favorite fashion, as a reminder of what was and how far you've come since then!
    As to New Year's food traditions, in this neck of the woods, it is Pork and sauerkraut! I plan on making a big pot of it and hopefully, there will be enough here to eat it then with no leftovers though!
    Happy New Year and Peace!

     
  • At December 30, 2008 at 10:03 AM , Blogger Ellie Creek Ellis said...

    we bring in the new years with a shrimp ring and sparkly apple cider. I don't think we have a tradition for New Years Day.

    My bad connectors with beans have to do with the bean pot on Thanksgiving Day! lol

     
  • At December 30, 2008 at 11:01 AM , Blogger A.Bananna said...

    I never knew your reason for not liking beans. It is so good to see that you now can connect beans with new beginings! I love you!

    LMBO @ the bean pot memory!

     
  • At December 30, 2008 at 12:00 PM , Blogger Celebration of Life said...

    Thanks Jeni, for stopping by! I love sauerkraut and pork over mashed potatoes! Yummy!

    Ellie: That bean pot was supposed to be a good reminder of our blessings; sorry it turned out so bad!

    AJ: Yes, there is always a blessing to be found in everything, even beans! I'm thankful that I don't HAVE to live on beans any longer and I have days of prosperity. :o) Love to all of you!

     
  • At December 30, 2008 at 1:52 PM , Blogger Ellie Creek Ellis said...

    don't be sorry, we've been laughing about it for years!

     
  • At December 31, 2008 at 8:21 AM , Blogger A.Bananna said...

    Grandma always made the best beans and ham!! YUM! Now mom makes them the best! LOL

     
  • At December 31, 2008 at 10:58 AM , Blogger Lynetta said...

    Yea! I love flush stories!! :-) Flushing the beans was a good move, and flushing second husband was even better. Great post--it's good to remember how far you've come in life.

     
  • At December 31, 2008 at 3:28 PM , Blogger Velvet Ginger said...

    Down South, Black eyed peas are a tradition to eat on New Year's Day.
    There were times in my life when I was pretty dang thankful to have beans to eat, I still feel that way!!!

     
  • At January 1, 2009 at 9:42 AM , Blogger Ellie Creek Ellis said...

    HAPPY NEW YEAR jo jo! love ya! check out chewy's blog!

     
  • At January 3, 2009 at 9:00 AM , Blogger DILLY said...

    Awwwwwwwwww Dilly sendin big hugs!

    Mummy members wen be por, hav onyun sandwiches. Now Mummy not abol eet unyun. Be lergic. Not abol eet ror unyun, not abol eevn tutch!

    Dilly not hav Noo Yeer dishun as too yung. Yuzly be sleep wen Big Ben go bong.

    ¬"

     
  • At January 5, 2009 at 11:32 AM , Blogger San said...

    What a powerful story, Jo! No wonder beans are not your favorite food. The callousness of that man must have been daunting indeed. And yet you had the courage to flush the beans and begin again. I admire you greatly. You inspire me.

    And I'm glad you can ring in the New Year with beans of your own choosing!

     

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