October is Suicide Awareness Month

It has been seven years since my Leo took his life and changed my life forever.  September, October and November are hard months for me because those are the months that I have lost loved ones.  October is especially hard because of Leo.

In my work, I have become friends with professionals in the mental health field and in a small way have become involved with the Suicide Prevention Coalition and Suicide Awareness Month.  The Coalition sponsors an art show by school children who in an artistic way depict "Why I Want to Live."  These children write poems, write stories and draw or paint pictures.  Last evening, I was one of three judges of these expressions of life.

As I was looking through the art work, I became overwhelmed with grief and was barely able to keep myself together.  I completed my task and left quickly.  I was shocked and appalled at myself and I was not sure why I was acting and feeling so weird.

Thankfully, my daughter and grandchildren live close by so I went there just to get my balance back.  I had a nice evening with my family and chat with my daughter.  When I left for home, I felt a heavy load was lifted from my shoulders and I had my balance back.

I thought seven years was too long to be grieving and feeling the way I did, but as my daughter pointed out, the love connection never leaves and there will always be the loss grief.  My daughter was correct, she is wise beyond her years.

I am back...celebrating life.

Jo