Celebration of Life

Moving beyond my pain and celebrating life.

Tuesday, January 29, 2008

January 30, 2007...One year ago today...



You never know what the day will bring; life can change from moment to moment.

January 30, 2007 is one of those days bookmarked in my memory bank. Up until the second of impact I was happy. I was planning on getting married in the spring, moving and starting a new phase in my life.

My fiance' Lou and I were looking at country property and had just left the realtor. Lou was driving my car and we were discussing the possibilities of the property we just viewed. All of a sudden I noticed the STOP sign and was about to say something when we were hit by the cattle truck. The truck tried to stop but pushed us through the intersection and into the cement lined irrigation ditch. The truck's impact was right where I was sitting. Thankfully, no one was killed! My car was totaled. The two mile ride in the ambulance was the longest ride I had ever taken.

I was the only one that did not walk away from the emergency room. I was in the hospital for three weeks with a broken pelvis, a broken rib which punctured my right lung and a fractured bone in my lower back. I had to learn to walk again and after Lou took care of me for almost two months he took me home and dropped me off. I live about 300 miles away from where the crash happened.

So, there I was at home not being able to get around very well without a vehicle. A friend loaned me a car but I had to put air in the tires and get it jump started every time I needed to go somewhere. Lou was supposed to come back the next weekend to see me and take me to the grocery store, he never did come back.

Being the strong headed Wyoming Woman that I am, I managed to figure things out and get another vehicle. My insurance company did not pay all that I owed on my vehicle, (I did not know that "gap" insurance even existed)so I was strapped financially too.

For one reason or another, Lou could not come back to see me so I decided to go see him one weekend. I thought it would be a real cool surprise to show up and show him my new vehicle and spend the weekend with him, after all we were going to be married in just a couple of months.

When I got to his house, he wasn't there and my key didn't work. I called him on his cell phone and said, "Surprise! I am here and my key doesn't work." He made an excuse about changing the locks then told me to go get something to eat and he would meet me back there in an hour.

When I returned, I noticed all of my stuff was out on his porch and he was nowhere to be seen. So I called him and he didn't answer. So then, I text him, asking him what was going on? He text me back telling me that he had a motel room for me in his name and to go check in and he would be right there. I left my stuff on his porch and went to the motel thinking that something wonderful was in store.

When I checked into the motel, I called him to tell him I was there. That's when he broke up with me, on the phone. He didn't even have the nerve to tell me in person. He told me that he met someone else and that he did not want to be with me anymore. He had sold his house and moved right after he had dropped me off at my house.

He broke my heart. My mind whirled with the thoughts of what I might have done or said that would make him look else where. I blamed myself. I cried for days. He would not answer my phone calls but eventually answered my emails when I told him that I would wait forever for him to change his mind. It only took three weeks for the other woman to dump him. He called me crying and we talked for hours. I loved him so much it didn't matter that he was unfaithful to me because after all, my love for him was strong enough for both of us.

We talked about getting back together again and resuming where we left off.

During the three weeks when he was still with the other woman, my friends and family had counseled me. They told me that they had a bad feeling about him from the beginning and I was better off without him. I knew this in my head, but my heart was stronger.

To make a long story short, with an open mind and experience of recognizing when he was not telling me the truth, it took me a few months to break it off with him. I decided my heart could not survive another wreck with him. We have remained friendly, we exchange emails but we have not seen each other again.

My body is slowly healing and I still have some residual affects from the wreck, my finances are tight but, my heart has completely healed.

There is always a silver lining with every storm cloud and something to be thankful for in every wreck in our lives. Yes, I am truly thankful for this wreck because it kept me from marrying Lou and it taught me an important life lesson.

I am thankful that I survived the wreck that broke my body and I am also thankful for the wreck that broke my heart... I am a stronger person for it. I am also thankful for my family and friends who stood behind me and encouraged me through my healing process.

My life lesson learned: Forgiveness is a powerful force; much stronger than hate and bitterness.

27 Comments:

  • At January 30, 2008 at 5:33 AM , Blogger Heather said...

    Wow, what a story you have lived and learned from. Thank you for posting about this, it is inspiring and motivational. I hope you are healing well and feeling fine.

     
  • At January 30, 2008 at 7:36 AM , Blogger San said...

    Jo, that's quite a courageous post. To revisit so much pain--physical and emotional--must be heartbreaking in and of itself. How many boxes of Kleenex did you go through as you were writing this?

    Shaping all of the pain into a story, though, is very healing. I know you have come a long, long way during the past twelve months, and I've known you for only a little space during that time.

    The Jo I know is the wise Jo, who has a sense of her immeasureable value, who celebrates the blessing of her life.

    May the twelve months beginning today be full of love and laughter and miracles. You are most deserving, my friend.

     
  • At January 30, 2008 at 8:23 AM , Blogger A.Bananna said...

    one year? wow! it does not seem that long.

    you are a very strong woman aunt Jo. you are very wise and loving. I love you!!

     
  • At January 30, 2008 at 8:48 AM , Blogger Lynetta said...

    I'm so thankful you're alive, too! God obviously has wonderful plans for your life. And a wise woman once told me to FLUSH--good advice :-) You're truly an inspiration!

    Love you lots!!

     
  • At January 30, 2008 at 11:09 AM , Blogger Celebration of Life said...

    Heather: Thank you for your kind words. My main purpose is to inspire and teach; if I had to go through this tragedy in order to do that, then so be it!

    San: Amazingly, I did not cry as I wrote this post even though I struggled in places about how much to tell. I am so strong now, my heart has healed and I am ready to go on to the next lesson. I want to be a strong woman like my Mother was, to inspire and to encourage. I want to "pay it forward" and to "think pink". I don't want to live in the past with anger or resentment but to Celebrate My Life! :o)

    A. Bananna: Thank you AJ for your kind words. I hope I do leave a precious legacy for others to admire and follow. :oX

    Lynetta: You and I have been down similar paths so your kind words mean a lot to me. Yes, I have "flushed" the bad and have moved forward. And yes, God isn't through with me yet! :oX

     
  • At January 30, 2008 at 11:57 AM , Blogger david mcmahon said...

    I read that post twice, to make sure I captured every nuance.

    I salute you for highlighting forgiveness as the way to move forward.

    God bless you and bring you strength.

     
  • At January 30, 2008 at 12:19 PM , Blogger Celebration of Life said...

    David: Thank you for your kindness. Yes, forgiveness is an important life lesson.

     
  • At January 30, 2008 at 12:23 PM , Blogger Velvet Ginger said...

    You have come quite far Jo Jo. I will never forget how my heart sunk that day that your son Bryan called Banana's cell phone to tell me the news of the wreckwhile we were in the store.
    You are doing perdarn dood...looking at that jeep of yours...no one could guess how good!!!

     
  • At January 30, 2008 at 7:58 PM , Blogger Ellie Creek Ellis said...

    yes, i can't tell you how sunk i was when bryan tried to sound calm as he told me that lou blew the stop sign and you got side swiped. i've learned to much through your wreckage, as well. i know the significance of dealing with life as it unfolds around you, and not try to unfold it yourself.

    love you lots, jo jo, for those that don't know, this is one of many wreckages in your life...you are a strong woman! keep thinking pink!

     
  • At January 30, 2008 at 8:18 PM , Blogger Ellie Creek Ellis said...

    I know how hard it is....how SUPER DUPER hard it is when your heart says one thing and your head says another...how you feel when you are "with" him and the loneliness "without" him. i'm sorry you had to go through that. it's a very difficult rollercoaster to ride. the longing that leads to searching is so bitter sweet and it leaves a lot of hurt. i'm glad you are healing...and you have that ONE YEAR mark under your belt. he was/is crude and cruel and you are too much of a lady to be treated that way. sorry if i keep going on, i guess your blog has opened up some good communications!

     
  • At January 30, 2008 at 9:24 PM , Blogger Celebration of Life said...

    Yes Ellie, we have all learned a lot from my accident. Sometimes my heart plugs my ears... I have learned to listen to my family and friends! Love you!

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 3:35 AM , Blogger Mima said...

    I am here visiting from David's blog, wow what a story, and amazing to hear that you have managed to get through all that and come out an obviously stronger person. Life really does throw us some curve balls, and it is how we deal with those that define how we are as people, congratulations to you, the one year mark is not just about forgiveness although that is a vital part, it is also about celebration for a life that you have recovered. Good luck with what comes next.

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 6:02 AM , Blogger Sandi McBride said...

    You know, my grandmother always told me to look for the silver lining...do you remember that old saw? I love it. Here's the silver lining...there was no marriage to break up, there were no children to break up, there was a heart broken, it will mend. There was a soul wounded, it will heal. You deserve better, I don't know whether it will be a job, a man or a child who enters your life through a side door, but it's out there. And wow are you going to have a wonderful life!
    Sandi
    p.s. I also came through David's gate to see you. I'm so very glad I did!

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 7:37 AM , Blogger Celebration of Life said...

    Hello Mima! Welcome to my blog world! Yes, it is about celebration and that is why I named my blog that! I started blogging after this crisis.

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 7:41 AM , Blogger Celebration of Life said...

    Hello Sandi! I don't remember a song about a silver lining but my dear Mother used to say it. She went through many tribulations in her life and always came out of it with a good attitude. That is what I try to mirror in my own life. She was a wonderful example.

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 7:49 AM , Blogger Am'n2Deep said...

    Hi, I came here from David's post. I am so grateful for those who are willing to share the experiences of their lives and the lessons learned from them. We are often hesitant to do so, but there is so much we can learn from each other. I believe that every experience in life, even and probably most especially the painful ones, are worth going through when you are open to receive the gift of healing, wisdom, and added strength that results. Bless you. You touched my heart and my life today. Thank you!

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 7:59 AM , Blogger Celebration of Life said...

    am'n2deep: thank you for your lovely words and visiting. Come back again!

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 9:43 AM , Blogger Suldog said...

    Ugh. I got a nasty feeling in the pit of my stomach when you got to the part about Lou. 18 years ago, my then-girlfriend sent me a "Dear John" letter, a week before Christmas. I know the horrible feeling.

    Best thing that ever happened to me, though. I've now been married to MY WIFE for 16 years come February 29th.

    Hang in there. Everything happens for a good reason, if we can't figure it out.

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 10:03 AM , Blogger Celebration of Life said...

    Hello Suldog! Yes, everything happens for a reason and I know what the reason was with Lou. He is a 'pretender.' He couldn't be with me and be himself; he was a charmer. As we all know, charmers are insincere and fakes. Thankfully, family members and friends saw through his facade and eventually, I did too!

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 10:14 AM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

    Jo-Jo,
    I have been by to visit here. This post was painful... I didn't know quite what to say. Encourage, inspire, keep moving forward and stay strong.

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 10:17 AM , Blogger Celebration of Life said...

    Chewy: I am sorry it was painful for you; I didn't mean for it to cause pain but to be a show of survival and forgiveness. I am a much stronger person for getting through it. Hugs (((chewy))) my friend!

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 10:43 AM , Blogger myonlyphoto said...

    david mcmahon has link to your blog on his post, so I thought I stumble upon. This is really unfortunate year you had, and I am really sorry to hear that. How can one bad thing happen after another, it cannot be explained. Life is also a test to see what choices we will make. Those with a good heart will always win, in my opinion. Thanks for sharing this life teaching story, yet sad. Anna :)

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 10:53 AM , Blogger Celebration of Life said...

    Anna: Thanks for stopping over. The best thing about this story is that it ended on a happy note so it isn't a sad story after all! Bad things happen to good people; it's what you do about it is what counts! It's all a part of life's journey!

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 3:23 PM , Blogger lolly said...

    We need to talk. Call me. Love you

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 5:57 PM , Blogger indicaspecies said...

    Reached here from Authorblog. Congratulations on being on the Post of the Day.

    This post is indeed a show of your strength and courage in forgiveness. Excellent.

     
  • At January 31, 2008 at 10:14 PM , Blogger Jenera said...

    I found you through David McMahon's Post of The day!

    All I can say is WOW. You must be a very strong person to look at these experiences in the light you have. I am truly amazed by that.

    Thank you for sharing!

    Jenera
    Just Me

     
  • At February 2, 2008 at 9:38 PM , Blogger myonlyphoto said...

    celebration of life you said: 'The best thing about this story is that it ended on a happy note so it isn't a sad story after all! Bad things happen to good people; it's what you do about it is what counts! It's all a part of life's journey!' - this is well said, and this is the great attitude to have in life, way to go. Thanks for sharing again, Anna :)

     

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