River of Pain.....

There is a song that Trisha Yearwood sings called: "River of You". I have paraphrased the words to relate an incident that happened to me this year:

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Everybody knew, he was not good for me, the way he broke my heart again and again...

Before I knew it, I was too close… One sweet look and then he pulled me under with a touch that’s like no other, falling in the river again...

I’m drifting, drowning, there’s nothing I can do but fall into the river of pain again....

I thought I saw love’s reflection just to feel his cold rejection ....

Every tear adds to the water that I kept drowning in; even I knew I was a fool

reckless fool for him ... I kept him close like I had nothing to lose ...

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The phrase: Every tear adds to the water that I kept drowning in made a substantial impact on me.

One day, it finally dawned on me that it was my own tears that I was drowning in and in order to stop drowning, I had to stop crying and in order to stop crying I had to remove myself from the person who hurt me like no other. So I did. It wasn't as easy as that; it wasn't easy at all. Eventually, I could stop crying to stop the flow, standup and walk away. I became a stronger person because of it or inspite of it. I am in control of my own emotions and my own life. Yoohoo!

Jolene